My book got a negative comment in a public forum.
This wasn’t a formal review, mind you, but a comment in one of those reader feedback forums at an online bookseller.
The Dear Reader in question didn’t simply pan the book; she actually stormed back to the bookstore and returned it! Now, if that’s not being mightily offended, I don’t know what is. DR accused my heroine Kate of being snarky and condescending. (And come to think of it, maybe she is.)
Generally I’m of the opinion that it’s a far worse sin to bore readers than to offend the odd one with excessive cheekiness. But even so, I would like to do what I can to mitigate any future storming of booksellers.
To that end, I’m considering putting a blanket apologia in the front matter of every book.
The disclaimer would go something like this:
The author apologizes to the following people or groups who may be offended by irreverent depictions within the novel:
Men who drive muscle cars
Medical assistants with a grudge
Plastic surgery junkies
People who hate cats
People who love purse dogs
People with AWOL waistlines
TV women who teeter around on stilettos
Women with flip bobs
Devotees of low carb diets
Devotees of M&M’S and Snickers Bar diets
Phew! As you can see, it’s a long list of potential offendees that I need to accommodate. And the list will be getting longer with each book.
I only hope that when any of the above-named aim their flamethrowers at me, they spell my name right.