Friday, November 19, 2010

No Turkey Day

Thanksgiving isn’t exactly a vegetarian’s best holiday. It hasn’t been a problem for the past number of years because we’ve eaten at a restaurant that had a buffet and no one could care less that all I ate was salad, vegetables and potatoes.

But this year it’s going to be different. We’re invited to my son’s future in laws. I don’t think they know I’m a vegetarian. If I tell them before hand, it comes off as if I expect them to have something special for me. The way I look at it, it’s my choice to be a vegetarian and there’s no reason why they should have different food for me. The thing is, I wouldn’t mind just eating whatever, even if it’s only salad and potatoes. But if I don’t say anything and the hostess notices I’m not eating all the food she prepared, her feelings are likely to be hurt and if I say I’m a vegetarian as a way of explaining, then she may feel upset that there isn’t anything besides salad and potatoes for me to eat.

You see my point? Either way it’s a problem. Personally, I’d rather never bring it up. Who really cares what I do or don’t eat? Well, it usually comes down to the question of what I eat for protein. The answer is I don’t worry about it. I haven’t eaten meat, fish or fowl for 27 years and seem to be doing fine. What’s the saying - the proof is in the pudding. In other words, whatever I’m eating seems to work for me. BTW, I live surrounded by carnivores and we have a truce. They don’t try to get me meat, fish or fowl, and I don’t try to get them not to.

So, I’m asking your advice for my dilemma. Is it better to say nothing and just eat whatever and hope no one notices or is it better to tell the hostess in advance that I’m a vegetarian?


I signed stock at some more bookstores this week. Funny thing, my editor said it’s supposed to be on the Holiday table at Barnes & Noble. In the places I’ve gone to, You Better Knot Die has been on the regular shelf with my other books, or in New Mystery, and in a few stores, it’s been on the New in Fiction table. But it has never been with the holiday books. So, if by chance you’re looking for it, check all of the above places. And if you leave a comment you're name will be put in a drawing for a copy of You Better Knot Die.

Happy Thanksgiving!

17 comments:

Dru said...

I don't think you have to say anything.

I'm not a vegetarian, but I also don't eat turkey so whenever I'm invited to someone's Thanksgiving or even my family, I just don't take the turkey. Most time people just ask "if I eat turkey?" and I tell them "no."

NL Gassert said...

Don't tell. Just wait and see. I have issues with food allergies and such and I never tell people in advance, because then they feel like they have to prepare something extra. If I’m invited where there’s sure to be food, I eat at home, so I’m not starving and then I can relax during dinner and eat whatever I can. When people notice, I just smile and assure them that I’m just fine (because I’m relaxed and enjoying myself they usually “buy it” without questions). The trick is to have something on your plate and to be eating – look busy just like the rest of them.

Nadja

Betty Hechtman said...

Dru, that sounds like a nice unassuming way to handle it.

Betty Hechtman said...

Good idea, Nadja. Don't go hungry and have food on my plate.

Betty Hechtman said...

Janie, I know you left a comment, but somehow it disappeared. I was late in adding the contest for the copy of You Better Knot Die.

Dru, Nadja and you will all be entered.

Linda O. Johnston said...

Why not just tell your hosts about the dilemma and how you pondered it, Betty? They'll eventually be family of sorts so maybe they'll understand.

Betty Hechtman said...

Good idea, Linda.

Susan said...

Let's hope your hosts will just be too polite to ask why you're not eating turkey! Or you could distract them with lavish praise of the mashed potatoes.

Betty Hechtman said...

Good thought, Susan. Distract them with praise.

Janet said...

My daughter is vegetarian and she usually tells the host or hostess in advance, I guess so they can make something apropriate for her tastes. She has no qualms with it, so it must usually work out to her benefit. I, myself, love the thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings. lol

Kate said...

If you are not traveling too far, why not offer to bring a side dish that everyone can enjoy and that will make your plate look fuller. It can be main course for you and a side dish for everyone else. Of course, tell them you are vegetarian first, then offer.

Betty Hechtman said...

Janet, it sounds like your daughter has it worked out. The rest of my family is with you - they love turkey and all the trimmings.

Betty Hechtman said...

Kate, good thought about the side dish.

Planner said...

I eat a vegetarian diet, too, so I definitely understand the dilemma. Like you, I don't understand why anyone cares about what I eat, but many people certainly do!

I once went to an office luncheon at a fancy restaurant and didn't tell anyone about my dietary choices. I just wanted to feel like a "normal" person. It sort of caused a scene when food was ordered for the group, and I passed on all the appetizers. One of the partners figured out that I must be a vegetarian and then berated the partner directly over me for not knowing his employees better. I was really embarrassed, and I learned from that experience that I probably ought to tell in advance. I suppose it's better not to surprise the hostess on the day of the celebration because she's got everything planned out and wants everything to be perfect. As suggested, you could also offer to bring something for everyone, if possible.

An advantage of not telling is that if no one figures out that you're vegetarian, then the conversation will not focus on dietary choices. The "where do you get your protein from?" question does get old, but it just shows how some misconceptions never die. (Protein is in many foods, including lettuce, and unless you're not getting enough calories or eating an obviously unhealthy potato chips and coke diet, there's no problem.)

Please let us know after Thanksgiving what you decided to do and how it went.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Betty Hechtman said...

The protein thing does get old.

Too bad about your episode with the work meal. That is just the kind of situation I want to avoid.

It turns out some of their family members have food issues much more complicated than mine, so I think I'll have no trouble blending in with the other eaters.

Dee Winter said...

Most people have gotten on the bandwagon of serving a variety of foods, so that there is something for everyone So I think you're probably going to be safe. And no I haven't seen Better Knot Die on the holiday display at the B&N.

Betty Hechtman said...

Dee, you're right about the array of side dishes.

I heard from my editor that You Better Knot Die is supposed to be on the New in Fiction table in Barnes & Nobles.

Since I didn't mention a cut off time for the drawing,anyone leaving comments until this Thursday at 9 pm Pacific time will be included in the drawing. I will announce the winner in my Friday of this week blog