Lesson Two: Writing a Scene

Camille Minichino/Margaret Grace here, joining the week long online writing clinic with a piece on writing a scene.

As a beginning writer, my biggest challenge was how to construct a scene. I'd read many books on writing, heard many lectures. They told me WHAT to do: make sure your character has a need or desire that propels the scene; provide conflict; give details using all the senses; use plot points for escalating action. And do it all well. But I never heard or read HOW to do it.

I owe the following HOW TO to Mr. Zachariou, (if you're out there in blogspace, Thank You!) a writing teacher who finally gave me an answer I could relate to.

Here's how it works.

There are six elements to a good scene. Or, there may be 118, which is the current number of elements in the periodic table. No one really knows, in either case. If you're old enough, this will remind you of those books and articles in the seventies when we were led to believe that there were four rules for a happy marriage, five steps to better skin, seven wardrobe basics, and so on.

In the same way, six is not a magic number, but let's just say that it's very handy to think of a scene in terms of six basic elements:

1. Action — from a simple movement like taking a seat, to leaping tall buildings
2. Dialogue — words spoken aloud, even to one's self
3. Physical description of setting — details about the environment, space/time; mood; weather
4. Physical description of characters — status details such as facial expressions, clothing, distinguishing features and appearance
5. Internal thoughts — "quoting" what the character is thinking
6. Physiological sensations — reactions not visible to others: clenched teeth, tensed muscles, upset stomach

You notice that good stories don't have page upon page of uninterrupted dialogue, or of any other element for that matter. So what's the order of the elements that makes a scene read smoothly?

It's as easy as 2-1-2-4-3-5-6-2-1.
As an example here's a short scene. I've put in the numbers so you can see that it follows the pattern.


Thanksgiving Dinner

(2) "You promised you'd never do that," I said. (1) I pushed my dinner plate away from me and folded my arms.
(2) "I had no choice," my father said. "We needed food." (4) He wore his faded flannel shirt tucked in to his baggy pants, a pained expression on his face.
(3) A brisk fall wind blew in through the flimsy window frames of the old house, sending a chill through the tiny dining area. The others at the table were silent.
(5) No one else cares, I thought. (6) I held back tears but I couldn't stop the awful churning in my stomach.
(2) "He was our friend," I said.
(1) I got up from the table and left my family to eat the turkey we once called Tom.



I hope you get the idea. In this piece I've given nearly equal weight to all the elements and followed the pattern rigidly.

Of course for your story, you'll decide which element is most important to carry the point of the scene. Sometimes you'll want a few lines of uninterrupted dialogue. If you're writing an action scene, you might have no dialogue at all for a page or so. Overall, however, you need all the elements to carry the scene.

If you're having trouble pacing the elements of a scene, try this! One side benefit is that you'll be able to easily identify your own strengths and weaknesses. Does the dialogue flow? Do you have trouble coming up with something more interesting than an upset stomach (I do!)? Work on the elements that give you the most trouble.

Post a scene here and I'll put your name in a drawing for a special (inanimate) Thanksgiving treat!