Yesterday, when I was coming back from a walk, I stopped to chat with my next door neighbor. Suddenly, she reached up and touched my face and said, "Oh my, you have wrinkles. When did you get wrinkles? You never used to have wrinkles."
How did I get wrinkles? Um...living?
The wrinkles she was commenting on--on my face-- were around my mouth. The kind you get from SMILING. Am I really supposed to think that's a bad thing? I have lines on my face because I smile too much. Somebody shoot me and put me out of my misery now.
My neighbor is a woman of a certain age, maybe mid-70s, I'd guess. She then pulled her face back and told me she'd like to have a face lift so that her skin was tighter. Why? She's not going to fool anyone when they meet her fifty-year old daughter or when she walks with her aged husband. I wanted to say to her, why would you want to deny your age? You've lived all those years, why turn your back on them?
Seriously. What have we done to ourselves that we can't stand what we see in the mirror? I've earned this face. I've been on this earth for sixty years. Friends, relatives, relationships have changed and died. I've been happy, I've been sad. I've lost, I've found. It's all chronicled on my face.
I'm having a big birthday in a couple of weeks. I'm very glad to see it, wrinkles and all.
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18 comments:
Your neighbor seems to have been commenting on her life, with no satisfaction and without wisdom commensurate with her age.
Enjoy the evidence of your life and have a joyful birthday.
Hi Liz,
Thanks for that! Nice perspective.
Liz V, what a wise comment! Why do so many women buy into the false hopes that looking younger will make them happy? Several Hollywood actresses and actors are almost unrecognizable now because of their facelifts. It is the inside beauty that shows on one's face that counts.
I agree, Carol. Seems like pinched and unrecognizable is valued over real faces. I hope more celebrities will realize that's not the way to go.
Happy birthday to come, Terri!
What's sad is that, as welcoming as we are of our own age, doors close on us. We don't need to look far for examples of how youth is preferred over experience.
We have to find new doors, or, build our own. As Milton Berle (your neighbor would remember him!) said: “If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.”
You know, we "excuse" a lot of behavior from people who have reached "a certain age," but all I could think was, she thought it was okay to just reach out and touch you and make that comment?! She was like that in her twenties and thirties and forties and fifties...!
How many times have I sat across from you at a critique table so GLAD to have your smile there?! Sheesh.
Growing older is part of life, and so's looking like we're aging, Terri. Obviously your neighbor doesn't get that and apparently thinks that rolling back the wrinkles will roll back her age, too. Plus, I agree with Carol S in that there's always the danger of getting one of those cosmetic surgeries that look weird. Happy Birthday in advance, and I love your attitude.
Hi Camille,
I'm old enough to remember Milton Berle. While I agree life is different as we age, running after youthful looks sure doesn't help.
You're the perfect example of someone who has made her own doors. Well done!
Hi Becky,
I'm just glad I have something to smile about at critique!
Linda,
You nailed it. Thanks for the birthday wishes. You'll probably hear more about it this month!
Just to be clear, Terri -- by opening new doors, etc., I did NOT mean through cosmetic surgery!
HA -- as if you couldn't tell that by one look at me!
And thanks for the good words.
I knew what you meant! You're too busy being awesome to worry about chasing youth.
I LIKE my crow's feet that show up mostly when I smile. Do you all remember during the women's lib years when everyone was saying goodbye to makeup & how they were going to "age gracefully" and be proud of their natural bodies. What happened?
I do wear some makeup, but it's sad that so many people don't want to look natural.
Jody, I'm one of those women, and I must say most of my friends are right there with us.
Wow the first thing I thought of is she has a LOT of nerve to reach out and touch your face!!!!! While I'm not always thrilled with the extra pounds or crows feet or laugh lines when I look into the mirror, I don't let it stop me for a moment. Ppl who cant get past the way somebody looks doesnt deeply enjoy life. Oh well, her loss. YOU are living your life and have a great attitude! Certain things might change as we grow older, but just because I cant do some things now due to kids at home, doesnt mean I wont try them when I'm 60. I'd rather have the number climb along with the body sagging than the alternative!
Congrats on living another year!
I think Betty White looks great because she looks like herself instead of losing her expression to a face lift or getting her face plumped up so she looks a freaky doll head.
Betty White is the perfect example. And she's still working. And who wouldn't have wanted to be married to Allen Lunden? Password is...
Yes, Lynn, we've got a lot of living to do. Can't spend it worrying about wrinkles!
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