I don't post much on Facebook, but I read other people's posts and often leave comments. This morning I followed a link to read a very long post by a writer I only know from Facebook. My eyes were clouded by tears when I got to the end. It was about her efforts to fix the problems with her very dysfunctional family. She didn't go into detail, but from what she said, it sounded like there was terrible abuse. Her efforts to talk it out with her family now that they were all adults failed completely.
I can't get it out of my mind.
The only problem my family had was a chronic lack of finances. We lived in a rundown building. One of my babysitting customers always made cracks about it when he took me home. Something about having to hurry before they tore the building down.
To me it was home and a refuge from the world. I felt safe and loved. The cheap rent attracted an oddball mix of people. For some it was just a springboard to better places and for some like us, it was permanent until they actually did tear the building down.
We knew most of the neighbors and stayed connected long after we left the building.
It's not that I didn't have challenges, but never from my family. My parents came from very different backgrounds, but we stayed connected to both sides. I went to a high school that was almost all Black and sometimes I was the only white person in a class. The school was boarded by a street that had the second highest crime rate in the city. I walked over a mile to school, mostly alone and mostly worried.
But I always felt grateful for my family and all the other people who did nice things for me. When my parents died there was no unfinished business, just a lot of good memories.
There was nothing I could do or say to that writer to erase what happened in her life. It doesn't seem like much, but I sent her a million hugs.
8 comments:
Good morning -- One never knows what is happening to families -- sometimes, so tragic. Recently, a friend of my son's told him about her childhood -- her mother actually encouraged the father and an uncle to sexually abuse the girl so they would leave her alone -- so horrible. The friend has lots of problems and now we know why. I had a wonderful childhood -- lots of love, lots of family around -- oh, that all could be that way.
I saw Dick Van Dyke on tv yesterday, talking about having to be carried out of his Malibu home because of the fire. His house wasn't damaged but he had to evacuate. He's 98 years old -- wow.
I'm back to crocheting blankets -- my absolute favorite thing to do. I've come across a couple new patterns to try -- they have to fit my criteria of being quick, easy and looking more complicated than they are!! I made my daughter a hooded scarf using the moss stitch -- she doesn't crochet, and she said the pattern looked complicated -- it's super easy. Perfect!!
My neighbor shared some candy she'd been given -- mostly the quick and easy kind using almond bark with various nuts, coconut and pretzel pieces mixed in. Years ago, I made a brownie that had a layer of peppermint patties in it -- for whatever reason, it didn't bake up well and was goopy. I didn't want to waste it so I dumped the goop in a bowl, squished it all together and rolled it into small balls, then rolled them in powdered sugar -- really quite delicious. I called them Goof Balls. They were actually the most popular of the dozens of cookies I made and the next year I got many requests for them -- had to recreate the goof!!
I've put Christmas decor in the breezeway I share with a neighbor -- fa, la, la, la, la!! I'll do a bit more today -- need to have my son come over to help me tie wreaths to the patio chairs -- need three hands to do that!
Enjoy your day.
Patty, I'm glad you had a wonderful childhood. And I agree that it would be great if it was that way for everybody.
I love your idea of making blankets that are easy but look complicated. The goof balls sound like a happy mistake.
Jakey and my son love decorations, so I'm leaving it up to them.
We used to go to parties in the area where Dick Van Dyke lives. I think he was probably at some of them. It's a rustic area. We had to drive through a creek to get to where we were going. That only worked in the summer when the water was low. There was a different, longer route in the winter.
He seems like a really good guy and amazingly spry for his age.
Happy crocheting.
Gratitude is important even in all circumstances. Since we both grew up in Chicago I can relate to your background. I had a wonderful childhood and lived on a block where we knew all of our neighbors. In the summer the parents sat outside on porches and the kids played until the streetlights came on. My dad was in the Navy and stationed at Glenview Naval Air Station. I can remember my mother having to shovel coal into the furnace to keep our apartment warm in the cold Chicago winters when he was deployed. To me it was fun, I had no idea until later what a burden that was or that we didn't have money to live in a better place. Home was safe and I always knew I was loved.
Sally, feeling safe and loved is all that is really important. I remember when heat came from coal. One of our neighbors had a bucket of it that they used in their fireplace. We lived walking distance to the beach and I have memories of staying there until it was dark when the summer was really hot.
I read the post on Facebook that you are referring to. It is heartbreaking. I grew up in Los Angeles. My family was poor but I didn't know that as a child because there was a lot of love and a lot fun in my life. I am grateful for everything I have now.
Miriam, I agree about being grateful for what you have now.
Wow, Betty. It sounds as if you had a challenging childhood, but at least it had its good points. I understand reading some of the difficult things on Facebook and feeling sorry for those who post them.
Linda Johnston, all of it helped prepared me to deal with life. I always send good wishes to those who post about ill health or unhappiness on the hope that it makes them not feel so alone.
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