Sunday, February 3, 2008

My Promise to Stacey Klemstein

I’m totally bummed right now. Having a meltdown. So just let me rant, and then I’ll post what I promised Stacey Klemstein, author of The Silver Spoon by Eschelon Press.

See, I just flew back from Love Is Murder on Dark & Stormy Nights. I’m dog-tired. Bone-weary. Weepy. Had one of those return flights that's like your worst roller coaster nightmare. It's raining. My son couldn't come pick me up at the airport. My husband is in Las Vegas with guy friends from Steinway watching the Super Bowl. He left while I was gone. My dogs are at the dog sitter's house. I feel abandoned.

But I planned to focus on the positive. I took a deep breath when I walked in the door to my home.

Great, I told myself. This is my opportunity for Quality Time with my 18-year-old son. Michael and I can watch the Super Bowl together!!

I ordered pizza! We got comfy in the TV room. We were laughing over the commercials. Only…suddenly Charter (Mis)Communications demanded the PIN number. Which I thought I knew. But after three tries, I discovered I obviously didn’t. And Charter turned the screen all blue with the message “Incorrect PIN. Call 1888GETCHARTER.” (Which is code for "1-800-GET-LOST.) When I dutifully called Charter, I was told I wasn’t authorized to turn the service back on. The representative explained that the account is only in my husband’s name—not Mr. and Mrs, only Mr. Slan—yeah, the very name of the no-good son-of-an-earthworm who SET the PIN number and forgot to tell me what the number was.

And it’s happened before. He's changed it and forgotten to tell me. I so rarely watch TV—and now you see why. It’s no fun to be all psyched up about watching something only to have Charter decide you aren’t old enough. Which is a real kick in the butt because I’m the oldest person in this household, and CERTAINLY the most mature. (Or I am unless I'm really, really tired and angry.)

As my son said, “Why do we even need a PIN number? Mom, if I want to watch porn, I can watch it on my computer.” Spoken like a true child of the computer age. So now I’m here in my office in the basement and my son’s upstairs in front of his computer watching the Super Bowl on his monitor. So much for togetherness. For bonding.

I think I will change the locks.



Now on to what I promised Stacey…

How To Get Started Scrapbooking When You Haven't a Clue Where to Begin

You don’t have to be really artistic to scrapbook. You don’t even need to spend a lot of money. Here’s how to get started…and I promise you can do this for less than $50. Probably more like $35 if you watch for coupons. (Google "Archivers." They have great coupons. Get on their mailing list.)

Shopping List (from Archivers, Michaels, Target, JoAnn’s, WalMart or Kmart)

1. An archivally safe pen—get this from Archivers or Michaels or Target or WalMart. Sakura makes a good one.
2. A personal paper trimmer—Fiskars makes a good one. Get the 12” size. From Archivers, or the others.
3. A variety of adhesives—a package of photo splits, a runny glue (like Elmer’s but one that dries clear), a glue stick, and my favorite, HERMA Dotto. (A little pricey, but worth it. Get the repositional dots.)
4. A package of scrapbook paper—get one of those pads that has multiple sheets of patterned paper, embellishments and alphabets. You can buy these for $20 or less. I suggest you take along the particular photos you want to scrap first. Hold the photos up to the paper in your package—is the mood right? Are the colors a good match? Try several combinations. You'll find one that pleases. (Even if the packaged paper is sealed, usually they show you the papers inside with a small schematic on the packaging.)
5. Six to 10 solid color papers to match the papers in the package of scrapbook paper. (This is for matting photos.)
6. Six to 10 solid white or crème papers to match the package of scrapbook paper. (This is for writing your journaling on. If there's cream in your patterned paper, buy cream. If there's white, buy white.)

From Around the House
1. A pencil
2. An eraser
3. Scissors
4. A metal ruler

From an Office Supply Store or Discount Store
1. A 3-ring binder (8 ½ inches by 11 inches) -- You might have one around the house that you can use to start with.
2. Same size plastic page protectors—ones that say “archivally safe”

Now you might be thinking, “Don’t I need a nice album?”

Why I Suggest Beginners Start with a 3-Ring Binder

The expensive albums take a lot of your craft budget. They are intimidating. You can ruin an entire page. The pages must be threaded on straps or posts in order and right side up. Heck, they even scare ME.

You KNOW how to handle a 3-ring binder, right? Yeah, sure you do.

Next week, I’ll show you how to scrapbook your photos. You’ll want to choose a dozen or so that have the same theme or time frame or some unifying thread. (Okay, and about that oft-heard cry, "You wouldn't believe all the photos I have! I haven't sorted them!" Honey-chile, I got you beat. I have 22 boxes of photos, one suitcase, one 3' x 3' cardboard box, and three old albums. I'm not BEHIND, I just have a lot of inventory to work with. See? Change your perspective. If you wait until they are all sorted, chances are you'll never get to it. That's one of the beauties of 3-ring binders. Find a new photo? No problem--make the page and put it where it belongs.)

Okay, you go get the supplies. I’m going to see if I can “recapture the magic,” and get my son to try to watch the SuperBowl with me again. You and I will pick up where we left off next week.

I’m still changing the locks.


Terri Thayer said...

You call it inventory. We quilters call it our stash. The quilt shop owner called it her resources. It's all in the reframing. As in I didn't want to watch the dang SuperBowl anyhow.

Stacey said...

Thanks, Joanna! This is awesome. : )

Joanna Campbell Slan said...

Just so you all know, I received an email from a Charter Communications "advocate" wanting to help me... that's really nice...and now the next time our cable or Internet doesn't work right for weeks on end, I'll take him up on it.

Joanna Campbell Slan said...

Stacey--Hang in. Next week I'll try to add photos of the process.

Terri--Yeah, it's stash. Why stress over it?

Camille Minichino said...

I love online classes, Joanna. Thanks for this one!

Joanna Campbell Slan said...

Oh, Camille, an inspired idea. Yes, we'll do this just like an online class. Be sure to have your paper trimmer, a photo, and a photo split for next week. I'll show you the cheater's way to matt a photo perfectly.