I spoke at a meeting of the Woodland Hills Women’s Club today. I really wanted to be calm and confident, but despite my best efforts, there was still a nervous warble in my voice as I told them how my mystery career came about.
I wanted it to be perfect, but instead, I was just me. I had a whole order of how I wanted to tell them what happened, but it ended up like tossed salad as I threw in things I’d forgotten to say before. And when I got to the end, I didn’t have a big finish, more like a fizzle. Only a few people had questions.
But the amazing thing was that afterwards a number of the women came up to me and complemented me on being so approachable. They were pleased with the bookmarks I’d brought. A number of them were mystery readers and wanted to know where they could get my books. They all thanked me for coming.
Then I started to get it. The fact that I bumbled around and had trouble with the microphone really wasn’t a problem. That maybe my idea of being perfect probably would have come across as a robot.
I’m still glad it’s over. I don’t know if I will ever be comfortable speaking in front of a crowd. I don’t know if I will ever be able to get that nervous warble out of my voice. But I also know that I will keep on trying. There is something exciting about stepping outside of your comfort zone.
How do you feel about public speaking?
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13 comments:
I used to be paralyzed with terror at the thought of speaking, even in front of a roomful of college classmates. Then I began a job in which I had to speak to groups and classes of nursing students. I was the librarian, the only person who could tell them about the library rules, how to use the catalog, etc. I had been in that job exactly one week longer than they had been students, and I told them so. "I may not know the answer," I told them, "but ask me and we'll figure it out." Some students came up to me after those orientation speeches, and thanked me for being open and approachable. I had a little epiphany there, and it stuck with me.
The first time I spoke to a (much larger) group about writing romance, I followed another speaker who seemed to be saying that one could not write and get published unless one had a $10,000 word processor (state of the art at the time) and sold every single book one ever wrote, and if you didn't do that, you were doomed to fail. I stood up and basically contradicted everything she said. I had a baby, I wrote my first three books in longhand in spiral notebooks and had them typed by a friend, my first book was one long cliche and shall never see the light of day (some things really are irredeemable) and when I told a lady in the supermarket that I wrote that book on the shelf, she gave me, in jeans and ratty sweatshirt, with cranky baby in the cart, a look that clearly said, "Yeah, and I'm the Queen of England," and walked away quickly. She probably thought I was delusional.
I had another epiphany there. If you relate to your audience, if you let them know that you are really just like them, you'll make a connection that will give your message an impact it could never have otherwise. That's what you did, and that's why it worked.
I've since spoken at RWA conferences, at more local writers' groups, at a continuing legal education seminar, at a state Embroiderers Guild annual meeting, and have taught a Law School class in Advanced Legal Research. I still get a bit nervous before speaking, and I don't eat before a speech (or class), because the food just doesn't sit well then, but I find I actually enjoy it now. And that's something my 20-year-old self would NEVER have believed!
I think you did exactly right in your speech, and clearly your audience did too.
I used to be terrified of public speaking, Betty. I even joined Toastmasters after doing a terrible job at moot court in law school. But giving talks and being on panels is part of my writing career these days and I'm much more comfortable with it than I used to be.
What a great comment, Julie. I wish Love the part about the grocery store.
You hit on what I was thinking about. I wanted the audience yesterday to realize I was one of them and if my dream could come true, so could theirs.
Linda, I do notice that I am less nervous than I used to be.
Julie, I forgot to say I agree with you about the no food thing. I never eat when I'm nervous.
Julie, I forgot to say I agree with you about the no food thing. I never eat when I'm nervous.
Linda! Moot court! Auuggh! (Makes vampire-warding-off gesture.) I have the distinction of being the only person I know of who had to beg the Court's pardon and sit down during my argument because I was gonna faint! Turns out, I was very anemic and didn't know it.
And Betty, I do eat when I'm nervous, but not before speaking. It just makes me feel off, somehow.
Julie, feeling faint in court must have been unsettling.
I think public speaking is hard for most people, including me. I also think that everyone in the room wants the speaker to succeed and wants to relate to her. Being your normal self is definitely better than striving for slick perfection.
I remember hearing that Johnny Carson was nervous every time he was before an audience. If a people pleaser like Johnny was nervous, how can we normal folk expect not to be?
Hi Betty - I'm sure that you are being much too hard on yourself! Obviously you did well since those people approached you.
I did a short reading and Q & A at my local library for Death Drops and boy was I nervous. But once I started reading and answering questions I felt very calm and focused. I think it was because I was talking about something that I really love. I think talking about your entire career like you did, would be much more difficult. Congrats!
Wow, Julie. You had a good physical excuse for your reaction to moot court!
Planner, that's an interesting point about Johnny Carson. But I think once he got out there, he was fine. My problem was the warble in my voice.
Chrystle, I agree that when you get involved with what you're talking about, you forget about being nervous. It sounds like your library event went great.
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